poems

Rude

Fuck compassion
No one is really
Compassionate anymore
Most don't even try
To fake it
Maybe they're better
That they don't lie
To themselves and the world
Barely restrained rage
Lashing out at the wrong times
Wrong places
Wrong people
They're not better
They're the same
As the rest of us
Except
They don't care.

Simple

I have no pity for you
I have lost patience
With everyone
It's easy to say
That I don't care
But it's not true
My problem is,
I do care
Too much for my own good
Too much for anyone
But I can't tell you that
Because I can see
You are the one
Who doesn't care
How simple your life
Must be.

Clear your Mind

I want my name erased
From the pages of time
I don't want attention
I don't crave affection
All the time
My world is small
But not so small
I can't see
The things I want
No part of.
I'm not blind
I'm not stupid
I just don't
Want to think so much.

No Back-up

Halfway down
We're already
Falling too fast
Am I wanted enough?
Are you?
Weaving sober
On drunk legs
How does it all end?
Can we end it all?
Cavalry's been ambushed
We're on our own now

All Gone

It's all lost now
Cliches and cold comfort
Are all anyone can offer now
They don't know
What this means
Slow reaction
Even slower crawl of time
The hands of the clock
Fall out of focus
Mean so little now
No such thing as late
When all you loved is gone
In your heart...
In your mind...
There is no comfort there
Empty phrases
Said a thousand times
When all you want
Is one more word
From the only one
Missing here.

24 Hours

In and out of existence,
What it must be like
To have that kind of freedom.
To disappear on a whim.
To be so free you don't
Even need to concern
Yourself with space and time.
While the rest of us,
Lose ourselves,
24 hours at a time.

New poems

Man I've been writing a lot lately.


Pill Popping

Just another pill
Down the throat of hopeless
It never goes away
Dull Ache of living

Just another pill
Down the throat of today
It's never enough
Always too much

Just another pill
Down the throat of tomorrow
It's not so bright
Dark always closing in.

Just another pill
Down the throat of right now
Goes down too easily
And never makes anything better.

Funny

I didn't realize
How much is wrong with me
Too big
Too clumsy
Too pale
Too human
I am the reality
That everyone is afraid of
Not ashamed
Not ugly
Not lacking
Not unhappy
Bared for the world to see
I scare you
That I am not miserable.
It means, that maybe
Just maybe
You are wrong about yourself.

Goddess

These wings they are for you
Deep blueI keep spinning 'round
Well-balanced
Un-balanced
These wings they are for you
My escape, my refuge
Refuse to turnIn the wrong direction
Which way is up?
Which way is down?
Deep blue
Spinning at the centre
These wings they are for you
Your wings, on loan
Always willing
To let me get a little
Air time
Breathing space
These wings they are yours
Don't need them anymore
Think the path is clear
Stopped spinning
Long enough
To take a breath
Make a choice
Right or wrong?
Don't know
May just be
That I'll need
Another loan.

(untitled as of yet)

I feel sick to death of this
But your words are tapping into my head
Burrowing in under my skin
It hurts like hell
And it won't stop
I want nothing more than a way out
I want nothing more than something better
I want a pill to make it go away
Or sleep to take me now
I am sick to death of this
but your words are tapping into my head
Burrowing in under my skin
These scars aren't beautiful
Like some can be
They throb and ache
And they paralize me
I am all scar tissue now, immobile, inflexible
I can't even find a way to shield myself
From the blows raining down on me
I'm not reborn, I'm dying here
I feel sick to death of this
but your words are tapping into my head
Burrowing under my skin
It hurts like hell
Even after it's stopped.

New poem

The Call

London had it right
The primal living
The call
survival
Gold rush of living
We aren't far off
From our
Grunting ancestors
But still
The call
It sounds
And we are
Mainly deaf
Softened and weak
We no longer
Ache for survival
For the hunt
For the base joys
Of wild living
We are a complication
Master of nothing
There is nothing
Wild left To be mastered
Or to master us,
What a shame
What a damn shame.

corset tops!

The house is freezing! Gar, Timmy likes to open every window and turn the fans on until it's friggen subarctic, then he's surprised when I'm bundled up and shivering. Oi!

On another note, I bought a corset top yesterday. It's all pretty and velvety, and it was from....dun dun dun....WAL MART! Yeah, $20 for pretty well the same thing Victoria's Secret is asking $60 for. It even fits properly, it's not too tight, not too big. (though it's a 2x, it's the 725 label, which is juniors and is made quite small, so the plus sized fit me perfectly!)

Yeah, that's about it for now...

Sleep, or lack therof, and movies.

I've been so tired lately. I know later tonight I'm going to be falling asleep at work again, I swear I'm going to unplug the bloody phone when I go to bed, every day someone calls just as I'm in a deep sleep, then I can't get back to sleep. I suppose that's what coffee's for, but most times I don't want to drink it anymore, I don't want to cause any migraines (if I drink too much coffee, I end up getting one later because of the caffine). It's usually Capital one Phoning for Timmy, I swear next time they're getting and earful, or you know, getting hung up on. That and I thought they were an American company...whatever, it doesn't matter.

On another note, has anyone seen Planet Terror? I watched it the other night, and damn is it a cool movie. Who would have thought that a girl with a gun for a leg would be sexy, but damn. Not to mention it's sort of a zombie movie, which just makes it so much cooler. I shall have to buy it at some point, methinks. Speaking of movies, I'm stupidly excited about I Am Legend, I'm totally going to see it in the theatre, even if I have to go by myself. I don't know what it is about the "last person on Earth" plotline that makes me all happy, but it does. It's why I like Zombie movies (well that and the cool special effects and gore and such).

New Blog, First Post

I've started a few blogs here and there, so really, starting another one was inevitable. They're really just places to write down thoughts and feelings, things that go on everyday, and the random happenings of my life. More often than not those thoughts come out in poems, and other types of writing, not necessarily journal or blog entries. Though there will be those, I'll try not to get too whiny or emo here.

I hope you all enjoy this! Well, those people that chose to read it that is.